Up In The Air


Right at this moment in time. In this stage of the process, everything feels all up in the air.

The end of this probate process will soon be here, and it is the strangest feeling. This has literally been our everyday life for the past two years. When it does finally come to an end, what next? A massive huge unknown. It’s a daunting feeling. We are also feeling:

  • Anxious
  • Our nerves are shot to pieces
  • We are on edge quite often
  • Extremely heightened emotions

There have been many bumps along the road with many low moments. In between all of it, we’ve tried our very best to not only get on with the regular day to day things, but we’ve also tried our very best to pick ourselves up and come back stronger with every obstacle and setback we’ve faced.

Life for us since 5th September 2016 has been a blur. It’s also as though time stopped, and we have been coexisting along with the years that have passed by since. It does feel as though a new life will have to start when it’s finally all over with:

  • New goals
  • New focus
  • New achievements.

We’ve had a few ideas of possibilities once this probate process ends however, with how busy and unpredictable this process can make things we’ve not had the chance to investigate any detail or cement plans. We are thankful however to have achieved one of our goals which were this blog. Our way of sharing our knowledge and experience gained along the way.

This has been one heck of a journey. But despite the traumatic time and experience we’ve had, one thing we are grateful for is that we remained strong as a family unit . Even with the illnesses & mental/physical health issues we have experienced, brought on by all of this. My mum, sister and I, standing strong together like the nasturtium flower in our Dad’s garden. Despite strong weeds overtaking it, being raked down to soil level, it rose again growing three buds, and eventually even more. We are so proud and pleased with the way in which our Dad’s Garden has continued to flourish and blossom. We will miss the joy this brings for certain.

Please see the Nasturtium flower below, as well as other flowers that have blossomed along the way in our Dad’s Garden:

The nasturtium is a flower that a lot of people know about for different reasons, this is a great flower to have in a garden, an edible flower, and one that also looks great in arrangements. … With the nasturtium, you get a flower that indicates that there will be victory through a battle and conquest”.

No matter how hard times got, with us very often wanting to give up when things felt as though there was no way out. We stood our ground, carried on and got through it.

We are also eternally grateful to our family and friends for their continued invaluable support throughout this journey. Without this, things would have been even more difficult.

We tried to google to see if there is any advice on the internet regarding life after probate. But we couldn’t find anything. We guess like most things in life that require a manual, but don’t have it, we’ll have to learn as we go along. And try our best to find our way and move forward with a positive attitude.

From our experience, our personal advice would be:

Talk to your parents. Find out if they have:

  • A will
  • A funeral plan
  • Life insurance

If you have children:

  • Set up a funeral plan 
  • Make a will
  • Make provisions for your investments 
  • Talk to your children about this (when they are at a good enough age)

Our Dad was a realist with an oldschool mentality, at the end of conversations, if you said speak tomorrow, or speak later, his response was always “God sparing life” no matter how often I might say, Dad why are you saying that, his response wouldn’t change. This was part of our Dad’s reality of life, and his beliefs as a religious man.

Our Dad would try to talk to us about these things, wills etc, but it would make us uncomfortable. The thought of having to think about our Dad no longer being here while he was still here was too much.

Knowing what we know now, even knowing how uncomfortable it made us feel, this would still he our Advice. Our Dad said and did the things he did for good reasons. He was looking out for us his children.

We know that talking to your children might not be an easy task. But in the long run, it will be the best thing for them and anybody else who might be involved in this process.

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