Reflecting on the past year: June 2019 – June 2020

© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog

Please see: Reflecting on the past year: June 2019 – June 2020 which covers:

  1. Introduction
  2. Tasks achieved in the year the blog was created
  3. Time and our journey
  4. Final thoughts on the past year
  5. Quotes on Reflecting on the past
  6. Our YouTube Video

1. Introduction

We most recently published our topic celebrating the fact that we have reached ONE YEAR! Grief Probate Journey is 12 Months old. This is a milestone and an achievement that we are enormously proud of.

This was an update on the past three months and reflecting on what we have achieved between March to June 2020. However, it was not:

  • A reflection on the past year since we started the blog
  • How life has been for us,
  • What we have experienced
  • How things are developing for us during this time.

We think we don’t go too deep on ourselves and our feelings as that makes it easier for us to deflect on the fact of what we are actually feeling and going through.

At the same time, we felt we wanted to take things back to the basics and post about our thoughts and feelings.

Just as an example, looking back over topics from when we first started out and seeing the difference in the delivery of topics. Because we post topics every week, and as time and life get busier, once we have hit publish, we do not really tend to look back on past posts too often.

From time to time we are put into a situation where we do so, for example, when we were Interviewed by the Color of Grief. Interview with The Color of Grief: Who we are, Our journey, and how we got into the world of blogging- Tuesday 14th April 2020 when thinking of things we could say, we chose to take the approach of looking back on how we first started things.

This was genuinely like an out of body experience, reading our thoughts and feelings as they were at that present time. Looking back, it is like:

  • Wow, we experienced that,
  • We achieved that.

Sometimes it was even like:

  • Wow, as we could not remember it is what we wrote.

I think with everything we have got going on, our brain feels foggy, overwhelmed, distracted. We find it hard to focus on things, remember things, be present in the moment we are in.

We find ourselves living life through an hourglass. It’s as if literally as soon as we open our eyes in the morning, right away we start thinking about all the things that need to be done, and how much time there is to fit these things in.

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2. Tasks achieved in the year the blog was created

A few of the things we completed once we created and launched the blog are:

  • Finalising matters with the local Council that our Dad bought his property from – this was extremely stressful
  • Completing the sale of our Dad’s property – this was such a terrible experience for us (we have a topic on: Selling a Property (Leasehold)
  • Finalising matters with the Estate Agent we sold our Dad’s property with
  • Finalising matters with the Conveyancing Solicitor which dealt with the sale of our Dad’s property
  • Dealing with matters related to the ongoing complaint with the hospital our Dad was an inpatient
  • Working on completing and finalising probate.
  • Living our everyday life as best as possible.

In the initial stages, once we published our first post, the main concerns were:

  • Making sure the blog page was user friendly enough and that it looked professional enough

Other things we focused on were:

  • Producing the content for the blog
  • Creating a presence within our social media networks
  • Engaging with our social media networks
  • Understanding our business pages
  • Monitoring the progress of topics
  • Thinking of ideas to develop what we are doing

Fast forward and:

  • We became aware of a grief community within our social media platforms
  • We have been welcomed into this community
  • We engage and support each other within this community
  • We have built a presence within the WordPress community where the blog is hosted which we are extremely pleased about

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3. Time and our journey

TIME.

Quite early on in our journey, the more unknowns we faced, the more situations that did not work in our favour, the more the feeling kept growing that:

  • We need to do something about this
  • We need to get this out there
  • We need to try and help people

The thought was there for a very long time, however, with everything else we were dealing with, the next thing was when would we have the time to take something like this on because at that time a few of the things we were dealing with were:

  • Trying to process that our Dad is no longer here
  • Arranging a funeral
  • Organising probate
  • Dealing with matters related to the coroner

For some reason or another, in April 2019 (two years after our Dad sadly passed away) felt like the right time to make a start on getting our story out there.

Throughout our journey, we have often spoken about time and how it really has changed so much for us. ALSO plans. Timing and planning, these things are just some of the matters that are truly out of our control. However, everything we have been doing so far has been dictated by time and planning.

My sister and I are also very aware that we are dissociated from our situation to the point that we almost forget this is our living experience, this is what we have been going through and are still going through over the past four years, but as we are thrown into so many procedures. We do forget.

The reality of our situation is too hard and too sad to deal with, this is why we do not like to reflect on it or think about it too much. Our Dad battled courageously for seven months whilst he was an inpatient in the hospital. We know:

  • How we were made to feel during that time by the treatment we received
  • How witnessing what our Dad was going through made us feel

Something we will never truly know is:

  • How our Dad truly felt
  • What he went through on a day to day basis for seven months

These thoughts surround us, and this what makes us so sad, this is what makes us determined to continue with our complaint, this is what makes us strive and hope to get justice for our Dad (we have a topic on Making a complaint).

Quite often we can feel as though we are drowning trying to stay afloat with life and everything else that we have to deal with.

We have been on fast forward for so long that to slow down and be at a normal pace seems quite strange for us, we almost do not know anything different as this is the way it’s been for all these years. We are so used to always having things to do on-demand, that if we do actually complete something that space is automatically filled, but not by choice, it just happens without us even noticing.

  • For us, we would only slow down for the following reasons:
  • It is a bank holiday
  • We are waiting for responses

OR

  • We have become so worn out and run down, that we have no other choice than to slow down and take a time out to refresh and start again.

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4. Final thoughts on the past year

Because we move at such a fast pace from moment to moment of tasks to complete, quite often, we never get the chance to look back or reflect on our achievements.

Despite these feelings, we are also aware that without us realising this blog has become something that is also helping us. It is giving us something to focus on which we see as positive. The fact we were even able to create and produce this blog, the platform that we hoped to make a difference in people’s lives, we are immensely proud of this achievement.

Through the negative, daunting, soul-destroying experiences we have been through, we are using this blog as a way of turning it around by using our experiences to try and benefit others. There may be many things that are too late for us now, but by knowing that we are possibly helping to make a difference to someone else helps us to move along in our everyday life. It can be challenging and difficult at times, but it is also extremely rewarding. We almost do not know how life would be without the blog being part of it. It has so naturally become a part of us and our routine.

We are learning so much along this journey, this has become possible because of people within our social media communities:

  • Sharing stories
  • Offering support
  • Words of encouragement
  • through the posts of others within our social media networks

We are also so appreciative and thankful for our friends and family who

  • Share our posts
  • Recommend our blog
  • Support and encourage us with their words

We feel so humbled, thankful, and blessed for the continued support we have from family, friends, every single person who boosts us and helps to lift us up. We are thankful and appreciate each and every one of you.

Because of this we remain inspired, motivated, and determined to continue growing, fulfilling our goal and aim.

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5. Quotes on Reflecting on the past

We decided to include these quotes, as they are relevant to what we have been speaking about in this topic:

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6. Our YouTube Video

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One thought on “Reflecting on the past year: June 2019 – June 2020

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