Caring for a loved one

© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog

Throughout this process, we have felt as though we were and still are living life in a bubble. For example, our Dad’s time in the hospital, our world revolved around being present at the hospital and focusing our efforts on:

  • Our Dad’s daily care
  • Dealing with Hospital staff.

Then the time came that he would be discharged to home. This brought on new feelings of:

  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Nervousness

Also, it felt like the bubble we were currently in would burst to leave us going into a new one. Life with our Dad at home. Not the same as when he was admitted to hospital on 5th September 2016. Our Dad now needing 24-hour care.

The best way to describe what life was like when our Dad was in the hospital is that it felt like being on a hamster wheel. That was how fast everything was moving however, with the focus being, being present at the hospital on a daily basis.  We made it work.

When our Dad passed away, with how the whole experience had been we thought the worst has happened now. What more could go wrong?. How wrong were we?

Less than 24 hours after finding out our Dad had passed away (whilst trying to deal with the horrendous way in which we were informed by the hospital), we phoned to get the death certificate and were told, there will be a delay as it’s been referred to the coroner.  We were in complete shock and disbelief.  Then began the start of being thrown into a world of complete unknown, with little or no time to understand anything. And just like that catapulted right back on the hamster wheel.

Below is an extract that I found on the internet after our Dad passed away. This was very relatable to how I was feeling at that time.

Our Dad was an experienced gardener. Growing both fruit and veg. Unfortunately, due to the many commitments we were dealing with the garden became overgrown terribly with weeds. It was such a big shock to us when we saw how bad things had got.

Thankfully in July 2018, we hired someone to sort out the garden and we’ve not looked back since.

We are very pleased to see that since this time fruits of our Fathers labour still flourish. Quite unexpectedly, I have become attached to the garden and almost protective of the new growths.

I’ve found a passion for gardening without realising or expecting it. One of the flowers that we were really pleased to see re-growing is Nasturtium. It was our mum who told us what flower it was as she recognised it. (Our Mum is also an experienced gardener). I decided to Google it and when I found what the flower symbolises, I was amazed.

“The nasturtium is a flower that a lot of people know about for different reasons, this is a great flower to have in a garden, an edible flower, and one that also looks great in arrangements. … With the nasturtium, you get a flower that indicates that there will be victory through a battle and conquest”.

What makes me even more pleased is they are red flowers. Red is my favourite colour. What we all take from this particular plant is that we are on the right track, we must remain positive and focused and not give up.

What we found special is that it had three flowers as if to represent my Mum, Sister and I. We saw this as a sign that our Dad is pleased with what we are doing and hopefully, he is now at peace after his terrible ordeal.


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