This is a random topic. Unplanned but came about through social media…….
Please see Facebook then and now feature:
- Introduction to the Topic
- My Dads Facebook Page
- What to do with a Facebook page when someone passes away
- Our final thoughts
- Our YouTube Video
© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog PLEASE NOTE THIS INFORMATION IS SOURCED FROM UK and AMERICAN WEBSITES It is also based on our own experience. *We are not experts in this field, we are speaking purely on our own experience with information sought from the internet to give further examples. *
1. Introduction to the topic
This is a random topic. Unplanned but came about through social media.
I logged onto my personal Facebook page and saw a picture of my Dad (I’m not sure what year) but it said Then. And then there was a blank canvas for now the present time.
Immediately I wanted to take a screenshot of it. I have a flip phone, and for some reason, I wanted to see this picture on the big screen, so I had to open the phone.
When I did that, it refreshed the page, and the memory shared was gone. I felt mortified. I tried all sorts of things to try and see it again, including going onto my Dad’s Facebook page. I couldn’t find it.
When I truly stopped and thought about it. This isn’t a memory that should be appearing in my notifications. Our Dad passed away in 2024. That space Facebook had to update would remain as it was presented to me. Blank as he is no longer with us.
This is an example that no matter how much you are trying to get on with daily living after an extreme loss. One small thing can catapult you right back into your feelings and emotions.
I started this topic and then left off from it. Since that time, I rediscovered the THEN and NOW feature with the picture that originally came up. What I learned from that is because I don’t have a “NOW” picture, that would be the end of that for me. Without uploading a new picture, you are not able to post the memory. So, for us, we would either have to post a picture of our Dad’s send-off. Or we just cannot be involved in that memory.
This memory came up because our Dad’s Facebook page is still active. We haven’t notified Facebook of his passing. It wasn’t something that we ever thought about, I suppose, as we had many more things to deal with, such as Probate and Inheritance Tax, which meant Facebook was the last thing on our minds.
The slideshow below shows the example of what happened. The first slide has no recent photo which means this memory could not be posted. The second picture has a recent photo which means the memory could be posted.
This has also reminded me of another topic that I wrote about but didn’t post it. It was a situation that happened which reminded me our Dads Facebook page existed. I have decided to include it in this topic.
We have also decided to see what you can do with a social media page when someone passes away, as memories like this might be too much to handle.
2. My Dad’s Facebook page
Randomly I came across my Dad’s Facebook page. It happened because I ended up on a page of a friend of his page (we are mutual friends).
Seeing that did something to my insides. Very hard to explain. It’s like being faced with a reality that you are not prepared for. Like we have to know this is real as many years have passed. But something like that makes it real 💯.
Then I went onto my Dads Facebook page something that I’m not sure if or when the last time I have done that might have been.
The page is full of all the fun family times we spent together. Pictures I had tagged our Dad in.
Then I went a step further and started reading the comments. This took how I felt to another level. Because my Dad had left comments thanking people for birthday message’s. I looked at the date and these messages were four years ago. 2015, none of us had a clue what was ahead for us. Not even in June 2016 when we celebrated our dad’s 79th birthday. Little de we know that sadly the was the last birthday we would ever celebrate with our Dad 😔.
3. What to do with a Facebook page when someone passes away
My sister and I are not sure if we would do any of these things. But we felt the need to explore and find out the options in case in the future these types of memories become too much and bring back unwanted triggers in our grief journey.
3.1 Grief and Facebook: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
“Jan 6, 2015 · In the moments following a loved one’s death, many people aren’t prepared for the ways Facebook may impact them—good and bad, short-term and long-term”.
3.2 Managing a Deceased Person’s Account | Facebook Help Centre
“Memorialised accounts are a place for friends and family to gather and share memories after a person has passed away. Memorializing an account also helps keep it secure by preventing”
3.3 Reporting a deceased person or a Facebook account that needs to be memorialised
“Request content from a deceased person’s Facebook account. Request removal of a deceased family member’s Facebook account. About Memorialized Accounts”.
3.4 What to do with a Facebook page when someone passes away
4. Our final thoughts
Along our journey, we have realised that Grief is an individual journey. No matter the circumstances of the passing, or the number of years that has passed. Grief will hit people in different ways, at different times, and when you least expect it. Triggers can come from many different situations, sometimes ones you might not even consider a trigger. This is okay, it is okay to sometimes not be okay.
Grief has a right to be acknowledged. There are no rule books for this, we work it out as we go along in our own timing. For us, our Dad passed away seven years ago, and this topic is proof that we can still be triggered without realisation.
We hope this topic might be of use to those who read it.
5. Our YouTube video
Grief Probate Journey 