Denial and Grief

Denial came to mind when realising the stage my sister and I are currently at. In honesty, I think this has always been existent in our journey. Our Dad sadly passed away in 2017, yet in 2020 we are still struggling to: Come to terms with it,Accept it, Acknowledge this is really real….

Please see Denial and Grief Part 2 which covers:

  1. Introduction/Our Story
  2. Illustrative examples of Denial and Grief
  3. Denial and Grief
  4. Our Final Thoughts/YouTube Video

© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog *PLEASE NOTE THIS INFORMATION IS SOURCED FROM UK and AMERICAN WEBSITES* It is also based on our own experience. *We are not experts in this field, we are speaking purely on our own experience with information sought from the internet to give further examples. *

1. Introduction/Our Story

Denial came to mind when realising the stage my sister and I are currently at. In honesty, I think this has always been existent in our journey. Our Dad sadly passed away in 2017, yet in 2020 we are still struggling to:

  • Come to terms with it
  • Accept it
  • Acknowledge this is really real

They say there are stages in grief, we are evidence of the fact that grief is a journey and a process that individuals get through at their own pace.

We have already done a topic on this which shows that although at that time we were aware of our feelings, it is something that has not changed since that time. Upon reflection, we have come to realise we wrote down our thoughts and feelings, but it did not actually become a topic. Please see below what we had written at that time:

Little did we know what was in store for us and the world in 2020. It’s beyond words and imagination the way in which the world has dramatically changed in such a short space of time. This indeed has had an impact on our mind, mood and wellbeing. The situation brings on its own significant worries, concerns even fears about the future. My sitster and I feel like we are dealing with two new major changes. The world without our Dad still in it. The new world since this unfortunate pandemic occurred.

Things we still find difficult:

Speaking of our Dad in the past tense – that is the strangest and saddest feeling.

Saying the word Died and associating it to our Dad. This is something we have never done. If we have ever done it without realising straight away a feeling hits us like in our heart.

Associating the funeral to our Dad, we do not ever say that. It is too difficult to comprehend that happened and it was our Dad. Even hearing someone saying it if it comes up in a conversation, each time it’s like my heart is getting hit. This is three years since our Dad passed away.

This is why we write passed away, autocorrect always suggest writing died as it’s clearer for the reader, but we are not able to do that. We are not sure if this is something that we would ever be able to do.

At times it can truly feel like we are living in a whirlwind mess, trying our very best to keep our head above water.

Please see Denial and Grief:


2. Illustrative examples of Denial and Grief

My sister and I can relate to many of the examples above. One in particular the roadmap expected of grief in comparison to the road we got. We feel tangled and twisted like this almost every day.


3. Denial and Grief

3.1 What is the best way to deal with grief?

How to deal with the grieving process

  1. “Acknowledge your pain”.
  2. “Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions”.
  3. “Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you”.
  4. “Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you”.
  5. “Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically”. (More items…)

3.2 What the Bible says about overcoming grief?

“Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. The righteous man perishes, and no one lays it to heart; devout men are taken away, while no one understands. (28 Aug 2020).

3.3 Tips for Coping with Disbelief and Denial in Grief

“Because it is a gradual process of weaning and disconnection, the shock that is felt after the death of a loved one may continue for weeks,” …

3.4 Understanding Avoidance in Grief – What’s your Grief

“I avoid feeling the emotions of grief because I fear losing control or going crazy. … grief being triggered; Avoidance or denial of feelings and emotions; Grief that”…

3.5 Using defence Mechanisms in Grief – What’s your Grief

A person engaging in regression in their grief might shut down or withdraw, become clingy with family and friends, or act childish. Projection: Projection is when a” …

3.6 Why the Five Stages of Grief Are Wrong | Psychology Today

7 Jul 2017 — Despite our society’s widespread belief that grief proceeds in five simple stages, research shows that this isn’t the case. So what is true?”

3.7 Sir Michael Parkinson tells Piers Morgan how grief over his father’s death devastated him

SIR Michael Parkinson bravely opened up about grieving for his dad as he … where he described the devastating moment he saw his father’s body … after a clip aired of him crying over his dad’s death on Piers Morgan’s life” …


4.  Our Final Thoughts/YouTube Video

Life can be challening, unpredictable, overwhelming, exhausting. But it can also be joyful with many things that could make us feel gratitude, humility. Life is a process, the same as grief and grieving is a process. As inviduals all we can do is try our best to be aware of our feelings, acknowldege them and move through them at our own pace and speed.

We hope this topic might be of use to someone, and we would like to wish anyone reading it a safe day, evening, night and week/weekend.



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