Closed off and Grief/Absent Grief

We sadly lost our Dad five years ago, and seeing that written is the strangest thing. Five years is a long time, but for us, it doesn’t feel possible that many years have gone by……

Please see Closed off and Grief which covers:

  1. Introduction
  2. Closed off and grief
  3. Absent Grief
  4. Our final thoughts
  5. Our YouTube Video

© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog *PLEASE NOTE THIS INFORMATION IS SOURCED FROM UK and AMERICAN WEBSITES* It is also based on our own experience. *We are not experts in this field, we are speaking purely on our own experience with information sought from the internet to give further examples. *

1.  Introduction

This topic was originally started in September 2022, at that time, we had sadly lost our Dad five years ago. At that time, seeing that written was the strangest thing. Five years is a long time, but for us it doesn’t feel possible that many years have gone by. Now it is even longer, as we are now approaching the sixth year since our Dad sadly passed away.

My sister and I have been on a journey from the moment our Dad was hospitalised in September 2016, passing away in March 2017.

This entire experience has changed the people my sister and I now are, think and behave. We’ve had many traumatic experiences from our Dads time in the hospital as an inpatient, coroner, solicitor, and estate agent. Each experience took a piece of us away.

Over time we have noticed that we do not harbour our feelings of emotion and can be quite closed off emotionally.

I personally have noticed this happens more and more with each letdown we face. The most recent thing that has caused this for us would be the case against the hospital in which our Dad was an inpatient. We had so much fight and determination, we had purpose and focus, almost a slight coping mechanism, and then we got the news that our complaint is going nowhere, and we have no way of taking it further outside of the complaint process that we had been going through over the past four years. Then in May (2022), our official Grief Probate Journey Instagram account was hacked. The combination of these two things led to a disconnect of feelings.

The emotional rollercoaster experienced not only from the loss of our pages, but the length the hackers went through once they gained access to our Instagram page. (We have a topic on our hacking experience).

Please see closed off and grief:


2. Closed off and grief

2.1 Grief Side-Effects May Include Building Emotional Walls

“But sometimes it is the fear and anxiety lens pushing us to close ourselves off from people or things we actually deeply care about”.

2.2 Is it normal to shut people out when grieving?

“Feeling disconnected from others and showing little emotion—or not feeling anything at all—is a normal part of the grieving process for many people. Losing someone you love is jolt to your mind and body, and numbness can be a reaction to that. Avoid judging yourself for not grieving in some preconceived “correct” way”.

2.3 Understanding Avoidance in Grief

“Experiential avoidance is an attempt to block out, reduce or change unpleasant thoughts, emotions or bodily sensations. These are internal experiences that are”…

2.4 Grief, Lost Emotions, and feeling Numb After a Death

“Closing yourself off to your feelings does not have a place in the healing process. Here are a few tips for grieving your loss:” …

2.5 Feelings When Someone Dies| What does grief feel like?

“Pain. The death of someone close to us is the most devastating experience that will ever happen to us. It can be very painful. People describe”…


3. Absent Grief

3.1 What’s Absent Grief? And How Does It Work? | Cake Blog

(7 Sept 2022) — “Grieving is a part of the human condition. We can be sad, despondent, and listless after the death of a loved one”.

3.2 What does absent grief mean?

“Symptoms of absent grief include no signs or symptoms of grieving whatsoever, irritability, forgetting about the loss, not feeling connected to the loss, and denial. Though absent grief is very common, many people don’t know much about it”. (3 Jan 20).

3.3 Absent Grief: 10 Things to Know When You Can’t Grieve

“What is absent grief? What if I can’t grieve? Is it normal not to cry after a loss? Let’s talk about mourning when grief is absent”.

3.4 Absent Grief: Why Am I Not Grieving Like I Expected To?

(21 Jan 2020) — “Anytime circumstances lead loved ones to think that death is a real possibility, they may start to grieve aspects of the loss. As one might”…

3.5 What is absent grief? | When grieving doesn’t feel normal

(14 Apr 2021) — “As a natural reaction to loss and trauma, grief can get overwhelming and intense in unexpected ways. However, the complete opposite can also”…

3.6 Absent Grief: Understanding a Multi-Sided Response

(8 Jan 2021) — “Absent grief occurs when an individual experiences a loss and does not have, or has very few grief related responses. Absent grief is”…


4. Our final thoughts

We hope this topic will be of use to those who read ti.


5. Our YouTube Video



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