Honouring your grief

My sister and I are on a continuous journey. One that started six years ago, which we completely did not see it coming…..

Please see Honouring your grief which covers:

  1. Introduction
  2. YouTube Video: Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You By Nancy Tillman
  3. Honouring your grief
  4. Our Final Thoughts
  5. Our YouTube Video

© Copyright© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog *PLEASE NOTE THIS INFORMATION IS SOURCED FROM UK and AMERICAN WEBSITES* It is also based on our own experience. *We are not experts in this field, we are speaking purely on our own experience with information sought from the internet to give further examples. *

1. Introduction

My sister and I are on a continuous journey. One that started six years ago, which we completely did not see it coming.

From the moment our Dad was hospitalised in September 2016, our lives have never been the same. We have experienced so many things and been through many highs and lows, and all throughout in the forefront of our minds we always hope and wish we would be doing our Dad proud.

We started our blog Journey in June 2019, we set this up to try and share our story in order to help others who might be going through something similar or know someone going through something similar. With all the things we were learning (a lot of the time after the fact). We didn’t feel right having this information and not sharing it. It felt like the only right thing to do. Our Dad was like this, he would help people whenever he could, he was co-founder of his local Tenants Association, aided in funds for his local community, and volunteered for youth and his local community. (The list is endless). In our eyes we were hoping our Dad would be happy with us doing this, and that it could make him proud.

Throughout the three years of our blog journey, it has somewhat become part of our therapy and coping mechanism. We feel honoured and blessed to have become part of a community that has common knowledge and understanding of what we are going through. We also feel blessed and honoured to have built a platform and formed our own community.

One of the other main things we were doing in honour of our Dad was making a complaint against the hospital in which he was an inpatient. Knowing this felt like we had armour and were defending and standing up for the many wrongs that had been done. This gave us a sense of purpose and belonging, and it helped to keep us functioning and getting along in everyday life and society. No matter what we were not giving up and this was something that helped to keep us going.

This year all of that feels as though it came crashing down around us like a tonne of bricks. Everything that we had been working on and fighting for over the past four years, was all a complete waste of time.

The complaint has in no way gone anything like we thought. It crushed us, it broke us, and we felt:

  • Lost
  • Deflated
  • Humiliated
  • Embarrassed
  • Let down

These are only a few small numbers of feelings. It felt like we were grieving all over again. We had strength and resilience within us, all of that felt like it was gone, the positive people who were determined to not give up were gone. Our flame blown out our drive and our motivation depleted.

This was one of the biggest letdowns we had faced since our Dad sadly passed away. We were devastated and still are devastated beyond words. In the back of our minds no matter what we were going to take the complaint as far as possible. To find out that we have run out of time, it took almost everything we had within us. We know we haven’t truly dealt with how angry we are about the way our situation has been handled or about the way we have been treated. As with most of the horrendous situations we faced, we have pushed these feelings aside, and put them in a vault in order to move on with everything else in daily life.

It has been seven months since we got the news from the hospital. A lot has happened in between that time, one of those things was our main Instagram account being hacked in May 2022. (We have a topic on it).

As if the news of the hospital wasn’t enough, this had to happen, we felt violated, like a part of us was missing a whole mix of emotions. Our anxiety and trust issues were through the roof. Our stress levels were high, it wasn’t the greatest of times at all.

We tried our very best to get our Instagram account back but didn’t manage to get through. Despite all of these things we managed to find something within us to bounce back and start again. We are forever thankful to our family, friends, and our grief community who did and continue to support and encourage us to not give up, this along with recognising our blog was still being viewed worldwide despite no new posts made us see we needed to make a comeback.

Not only have we created a new Instagram page, but we have also decided we will find other ways to express our story about our Dad’s time in the hospital.

We love and miss our Dad dearly, anything that we can continue to do to honour him we will always do that.

Please see Honouring your grief:

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2. YouTube Video: Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You By Nancy Tillman

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3. Honouring Your Grief

3.1 Honouring your Grief – Angie Greaves

“Honour your grief as a sign of love and respect. And even if it feels like it’s too much to bear, you will get through this and you’re certainly not alone”.

3.2 What does honoring your grief mean?

“Honoring means “recognizing the value of” and “respecting.” It is not instinctive to see grief and the need to openly mourn as something to honor, yet the capacity to love requires the necessity to mourn. To honor your grief is not self-destructive or harmful, it is courageous and life-giving”.

3.3 30 Ways to Honor Your Grief

  • “Write a letter or poem to your person”.
  • “Light a special candle to remember them- if it’s their birthday, you could blow the candle out and make a wish”.
  • “Get together with others in your loved one’s life to acknowledge the day- have a dinner, say a toast”.

3.4 How do you honor losses?

10 Ideas for Honoring Someone Who Has Passed On

  1. “Make Your Loved Ones Favorite Meal”…. …
  2. “Have a Movie Night and Watch Your Loved Ones Favorite Movie”. …
  3. “Place a Memorial Bench Near Your Loved One’s Burial Site”. …
  4. “Throw Them a Birthday Party”. …
  5. “Give to Charity”. …
  6. “Plant Something”. …
  7. “Tattoos – a Permanent Reminder of Those You Lost”.

3.5 How do you honour someone’s legacy?

Five Ways to Honor Your Loved One’s Legacy

  1. “Flowers on the Grave. This is such a traditional, timeless classic that it would be remiss not to include”. …
  2. “Interment in a Columbarium”. …
  3. “Hold a Remembrance Reunion”. …
  4. “Donate to Charity”. …
  5. “Pass Down Your Loved One’s Story”.

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4. Our Final Thoughts

From time to time on our journey, we have reflective moments. This is one of those, and we wanted to share it as we feel honouring grief is an essential part of the grieving process. We hope this might be of use to those who read it.

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5. Our YouTube Video

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