We got some really sad and shocking news today (Friday 17th July 2020). A very good friend of our Dad’s who was practically family to us has passed away. Shocked, Disbelief, Sad, Lost. Are just some of the way we were feeling. It makes you realise even more how much:We should not take anything for granted. Nothing lasts forever….
Please see: Loss of a Family Friend which covers:
- Introduction/Our Story
- Experiences in Loss
- Coping with the loss of someone close to you
- Our Final Thoughts and YouTube video
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1. Introduction/Our Story
We got some really sad and shocking news today (Friday 17th July 2020). A very good friend of our Dad’s who was practically family to us has passed away.
- Shocked
- Disbelief
- Sad
- Lost
Are just some of the way we were feeling. It makes you realise even more how much:
- We should not take anything for granted.
- Nothing lasts forever
You can take for granted that things or people will always be around, but it is surely not the case. The following example holds so much truth:
Life is precious, short and sweet. Although easier said than done, whilst we are here, we should try our very best to live our best and healthiest life.
Our Dad and this person met in college many years ago when studying mechanics. They remained friends ever since.
I remember when our Dad was in the hospital. There was something wrong with my old car at that time. This person phoned me whilst I was in the ward with my Dad, we were talking about the problem with my car. I handed the phone to my Dad and they were both chatting away about what could possibly be wrong with the car. I enjoyed this moment, as it brought some “normality” to the reality of what was surrounding me. Normality of my Dad and this person chatting away about cars and life, my Dad sounding energised and fully engaged in the conversation with his long time, good friend.
It was my sister who was given the news about our family friend. He was very close to our Dad and was there for us still up until this year (three year’s after our Dad passed away).
We weren’t always in contact but the fact that he is no longer here it feels so surreal. Maybe more so as he was a connection to our Dad, and when we caught up we would share stories.
He was also our mechanic, he went above and beyond and that was because it was part of his kind-hearted nature, and we were his good friend’s daughters. In this sense, he was also like second guidance. It felt good and comforting to know we had his support.
As an example, I bought a new car and my first thoughts were, I must contact him to let him know my plan and to also seek his advice on the model and make I was interested in.
Getting a new car was an experience in itself as my Dad was with me when I bought my first car. It was me, my sister and my Dad.
But knowing I was able to have the advice of this person, it made me feel so much more at ease.
My sister had been meaning to contact him of late, it’s almost as though she was getting a feeling something was wrong. And sadly when she got the phone call her worst feelings were confirmed.
Once this news registered, my sister and I discussed it and thought of one of our Dad’s other good friend. We wondered if they knew about this. We decided that I should phone him to inform him just in case. It turns out that he did not know, he was shocked and saddened by it. His comments were: he cannot believe it, he was so young, he will be missed, he was such a kind-hearted person. My sister and I feel exactly the same way.
This person was always there for us if we needed him when our Dad was here. The fact this continued when our Dad was no longer here made it even more special to us, but now sadly, they are both no longer here with us. Writing this seems surreal, reading it is even more surreal, but sadly it is real.
Please see Loss of a Family Friend:
2. Experiences in Loss
2.1 People Should Never Take Life For Granted – Centering and Grief Digest Magazine
“Life is something that is very precious, because longevity is not granted to everyone. The only thing in life that is promised to us is death”.
2.2 Lessons in Loss: What We Can Learn From Grief – GoodTherapy
12 Oct 2016 · “Grief teaches us that loss is inevitable. Grief teaches us not to take loved ones for granted. Grief teaches us about our faith”.
3. Coping with the loss of someone close to you
3.1 5 positive ways to deal with loss of family and friends as you age
“27 Jan 2019 – It will be hard to handle the gap in friends/family because some things will never be the same. Acknowledging the loss, even if it is painful, is a” …
3.2 For Family and Friends – The Good Grief Trust
“Welcome to our page for supporting family and friends of those who are grieving. We have spoken to the bereaved for their guidance on what did and didn’t help” …
3.3 Coping With the Death of Old Friends and Siblings as We Age
“21 Mar 2017 – It’s important to understand that for some, the loss of a friend can be more impactful than if it was a family member. — Molly Ruggles, psychologist”.
3.4 How to Deal With the Death of Someone Close to You
“If you have lost someone close to you the worst thing you can do is to isolate … Your friends and family – They will listen, support you and also help you take your” …
4. Our Final Thoughts and YouTube video
This news came as a real shock to us, my sister couldnt hold back her tears on the phone when she was being told. When my sister told me, it’s like I couldnt register what I was hearing. We couldnt and still cannot believe it. This is probably partly due to the fact that This news came as a real shock to us, my sister could not hold back her tears on the phone when she was being told. When my sister told me, it is like I could not register what I was hearing. We could not and still cannot believe it. This is probably partly due to the fact that we still haven’t dealt with our Dad not being here and the circumstances surrounding it, also as this person was so close to our Dad, it now feels like another piece or connection to him is gone.
Our condolences, thoughts and prayers go out to his family, friends, colleagues, and anyone that knew him. May he R.I.E.P
The following image speaks truths to how we feel about this news:
Grief Probate Journey 
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