This topic came about from a conversation taking place between myself and Gina Lazzareschi (@gr8teful_gal_).
We were having a conversation about our grief experiences, and something that Gina said about her story, was a very interesting spin on her situation.
When talking about our grief stories and how we get through dark days, her response was such a positive and encouraging perspective, one of which we would not have seen or thought of for ourselves……
Please see Perspective and Willingness to see Beauty in Grief: Featuring Gina Lazzareschi which covers:
- Introduction
- Gina’s-Story
- Illustrative examples: Perspective and Grief
- Internet links: Perspective and Grief
- Our final thoughts/YouTube video
© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog
1. Introduction
This topic came about from a conversation taking place between myself and @theGrateful girl. Gina Lazzareschi
We were having a conversation about our grief experiences, and something that Gina said about her story, was a very interesting spin on her situation.
When talking about our grief stories and how we get through dark days, her response was such a positive and encouraging perspective, one of which we would not have seen or thought of for ourselves.
One of the things I remember we spoke about is the fact that Gina likes to remind anyone who is faced with grief that there is beauty in grief if you are willing to see it. When that was said, something that came to mind for us was, Flowers blooming from seeds our Dad planted. It’s bittersweet but fills us with so much pride and joy. The joy we got every time we went to our Dad’s house and seeing the continuation of his flowers and vegetables still growing, it was heart-warming. Being in his garden was therapeutic and actually turned into something that we loved. Tending to our Dad’s garden and continuing to maintain what he worked so hard to produce. Gardening was one of our Dads many passions, it was one of the many things that he was very good at that came naturally to him, almost like second nature. Like the saying, he had green fingers.
Something else that we have as a common feeling is being numb to our Dad’s absence. This is something that my sister and I have said on many occasions throughout our blog. We are fully aware that the nature of the circumstances surrounding our Dad’s unfortunate passing away has almost stunted our feelings and emotions, but like Gina when we see signs from our Dad we are eternally and internally grateful. (This has remdinded us about a topic we did on:
We have so many doubts about every decision we have made and still make, it knocks our confidence sideways upside down and all around. But getting a sign from our Dad as we believe it to be, it does also feel bittersweet, but it is also the best thing for us in the moments that it happens. It feels that way because it gives us a sense of validation and approval from our Dad that we are on the right track, or in moments of complete despair the signs help us to believe that things will get better and eventually work in our favour. We have two topics that came to mind as an example of the signs that we have seen from our Dad:
In these topics, we go more in-depth on how much the signs and dreams we have had have and still do help us along our journey and give us the inner strength to continue moving forward.
We also spoke about job roles. Gina job as a perspective coach is inspiring and with everything combined, the thought came into my mind about us working together to do a topic on this.
It felt so easy to talk to Gina, as she has a very calming, positive, and inspiring nature (just to name but a few examples). This makes it easy to talk to her and open up.
It was through a conversation with my sister and then also talking with Gina that this topic has come about.
Who knows, maybe reading this way of thinking could possibly help to inspire or even change perspectives for others in the same way that Gina did for us.
We have also included Gina’s contact details should you wish to find out further information.
Please see Perspective and Willingness to see Beauty in Grief: Featuring Gina Lazzareschi
2. Gina’s Story
I work with clients who are struggling with life challenges:
- Anxiety/depression
- Failure to launch
- Overwhelmed executives.
- Discontent mom/wives.
- Overthinkers
After many years of working in a drug treatment center just two years before the opioid epidemic was unfolding, I am a trained behaviourist. I observe the client and identify maladaptive behaviours and then identify willingness to change. Then I work with the client to identify small doable goals that provides opportunities for success and progress.
After 11 years of encouraging change in addicts and alcoholics, I have stumbled upon grief. Rather I was thrust into grief. My father was diagnosed with cancer. I spent a lot of time caring for my father 8 hours away. English is not my mother’s first language. Therefore, I am responsible for her in a way that I wasn’t ready to provide.
I wanted to understand grief as a behaviourist.
What are grief behaviours?
- Crying? Depression?
- Sadness?
- Mourning?
- Anger?
There must be others… There are… if you’re willing to see the beauty in grief. I wasn’t prepared for the infinite feeling of loss. Of course, there are sad and angry feelings, but I’ve always chosen to find gratitude and the beauty in the grief journey.
So… the behaviour I’ve been utilizing the most is sharing and documenting my beauty in grief.
Behaviours are a string of habits. How we execute our behaviours is what provides or removes opportunities. We can choose to find the beauty or remain in the loss. I know there was a solid chunk of time when I didn’t want to speak to anyone or do anything. Living in pyjamas and eating for comfort.
Even through that time I was able to find beauty in my grief journey.
I work to create with my clients a perspective shift from their way of thinking to healthier modes. So, with grief, I’m always looking for a perspective that soothes. It’s a gift. I find gratitude even in my darkest moments.
Gina’s contact details:
Email: letsbehonestcoaching@gmail.com
3. Illustrative examples: Perspective and Grief
4. Internet links: Perspective and Grief
4.1 16 Bible Verses About Grief – Bible Verses to Cope With Death
“The Good News: God will never abandon us during our times of grief — he will always provide us with love and hope. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (31 Mar 2020)”
4.2 Grief From the Perspective of an Old Man – Ofield Funeral Home
“Grief From The Perspective of an Old Man. By Tim Ofield; •; 07 Jul, 2017. There is no simple answer to give to a person who has lost someone they love”.
4.3 Perspective on Grief: How Long Until it Doesn’t Hurt…
“26 Dec 2017 — What is a perspective on grief? Perspective = “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.” Grief = “deep sorrow”, …
4.4 Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief and the Brain
“Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief and the Brain. Submitted by eea on Wed, 2018-12-12 12:00 PM. Loss is traumatic. It wasn’t”…
4.5 Grief and Mourning in Cross-Cultural Perspective
“15 Feb 2021 — Although reports about mourning and grief have come from many cultures, there is no consensus among bereavement scholars about what”…
5. Our final thoughts/YouTube video
This blog has taken us on a journey, a journey of continual learning and discovery. Along our journey we have become part of a lovely supportive and welcoming grief community. Although we are connected through unfortunate circumstances, we appreciate every single connection we have made.
We became connected with Gina through a chain of events. We were introduced to Colorofgrief, through Jane Edberg – The fine Art of Grieving . (We had reached out to Jane asking if she would like to work on a topic with us, and Jane agreed. This is the topic mentioned in the introduction) through that introduction we were interviewed by the colorofgrief on a live Instagram interview. (We then wanted to share the interview and the only we could work out how to was by uploading it to YouTube, this is how our YouTube channel came about).
These interviews then took place every Tuesday. We would watch them and this is when our connection with Gina came about. Gina was being interviewed speaking about the loss of her Dad, we were drawn in by what Gina was saying, and certain things she said about her Dad’s characteristics really made us think of our Dad there were so many similarities. Because of this, we reached out to Gina, and we have happily been connected and supporting each other through our journeys ever since.
My sister and I have been feeling mutltitudes of random feelings latetly, highs, lows, not having a clue what could possibly be wrong with us. What we have become aware of is we are approaching the fourth year since our AMAZING Dad sadly passed away (6th March 2017). It is beyond words, beyond belief, unimaginable that this many years could possibly have gone by. To this very day we are aware that we still have not reached a point of acceptance, however we do hope that everything that we have done and continue to do since our Dad passed away would make him proud. It is all in honour of his name, the person he has always been and his legacy. We love our Dad forever and always.
We hope this topic could be of use to people who read it. And as always we’d like to wish you a safe day, evening, night and beyond.
Grief Probate Journey 
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