This topic has come about based on comments from a previous topic: Traumatic Loss and the comments shared between the community we have built through our blog, about the comments shared were between the community that has been developing through our blog. They were discussing how they related to the topic and the unfortunate loss of their loved ones through suicide…
Please see Suicide and Grief which covers:
- Introduction
- Samantha Tunesi: A Mothers Story
- The Lucy Rayner Foundation
- Cindy Peschard – Aslan’s SurvivorsofSuicideLoss
- Suzzane Howes- Coaching After Loss. And World Suicide Prevention Day links
- Our Final Thoughts/Our YouTube Video
© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog *PLEASE NOTE THIS INFORMATION IS SOURCED FROM UK and AMERICAN WEBSITES* It is also based on our own experience. *We are not experts in this field, we are speaking purely on our own experience with information sought from the internet to give further examples. *
1. Introduction
Our story is about our Grief, we are sharing it in the hope of contributing to breaking down the taboo subject of Grief. Grief has many levels, it is:
- Very complex
- An individual experience
- As unique as a fingerprint.
This topic has come about based on comments from a previous topic: Traumatic Loss. The comments shared were between the community that has been developing through our blog. They were discussing how they related to the topic and the unfortunate loss of their loved ones through suicide.
When we saw this engagement and interaction between them, we felt such empathy with them. But also, such inspiration in their spirit and how they were comforting each other.
This made us feel that we would like to do a topic on it. A topic to reflect how the people left behind feel. We asked if this would be okay with them, thankfully they were okay with it, and with the help of a mother Samantha Tunesi, with who we have been connected for over a year now, we were given help and suggestions of organisations to contact, not only were these suggestions given, but we were also so grateful that Samantha has shared her own story with us.
We are so thankful for this as we know it was not something that could have been easy, but we also appreciate it as we feel it will be helpful for others who are experiencing similar grief.
We since then became aware that it is also Suicide Prevention Month, and so we have combined the two.
Please see Suicide Prevention Month: Suicide Loss and Grief:
2. Samantha Tunesi: A Mothers Story
Some days I can’t quite believe I am still here. Still here 19months after losing my beautiful brave courageous 24-year-old son to suicide. But I am still here although it feels as if I am merely surviving not living. That is what we are: Survivors of suicide.
The devastation Louis has left behind is monumental and far-reaching. Literally, hundreds of people have been affected by him leaving us. As a parent, this is truly a living hell and I can only do my best from now to try to educate people to reach out and if someone does reach out, please try your hardest to help them.
It is often said “people that talk about it don’t do it “yes, they do! Never dismiss a cry for help. It’s not attention-seeking. It may have taken that person great courage to reach out.
In this, suicide prevention month, I urge anyone reading this to check up on anyone you feel may be struggling. We need to overcome the stigma of talking about mental health and sometimes if we start the conversation, it can be a whole lot easier for that person to open up.
Saying all of that I know what Louis did was his choice and his alone and nothing can change that. You can’t die of a broken heart; I am proof of that. You just go on living half a life. If one mother can be prevented from feeling like I do, then I will try my hardest to keep plugging away with the message “reach out “!
“The Lucy Rayner Foundation aims to raise awareness of the signs and symptoms of depression and mental health challenges, especially in young adults, and to facilitate change in the way mental health is being perceived by society”.
“On the 5th May 2012, Jenny Rayner and her family were tragically faced with the impact of mental illness, when their daughter Lucy took her own life aged just 22”.
“This life-changing event inspired Jenny and her family to begin campaigning about the mental health challenges faced by young adults, and they quickly found that the support and help available to recognise and treat young adults with mental health challenges is woefully inadequate and significantly underfunded”.
YouTube Video:
Lucy Rayner
“This is the story of Lucy Rayner who took her own life on the 5th May 2012, aged 22. No one saw it coming. She explained how she felt in the letter she left in the moments before she took her own life. She didn’t love herself or her life, it was a struggle for her and she wanted some peace. Her parents knew that she had mood swings and she did go to the doctor, but she was not diagnosed as having depression or any form of mental illness. Lucy didn’t talk about her feelings and found it hard expressing her emotions. Although devastated at the time, Lucy’s parents, Stuart and Jenny Rayner were motivated to raise awareness of suicide by young people”.
“The Lucy Rayner Foundation was set up in memory of Lucy, and aims to raise awareness of the signs and symptoms of depression in young adults through education and campaigning, to facilitate change in the way mental health is perceived by society, and to help prevent young people committing suicide. The aim of this feature was to feel the pain of the parents who had lost a child, in this case by suicide. As painful as it was to do, the parents wanted to get the point across about suicide. This was one of the most emotional interviews I had done and hope that I have done it justice”.
Cindy Peschard – Aslan’s SurvivorsofSuicideLoss
Cindy Peschard is the executive director/founder of The Aslan Foundation, as well as suicide loss survivor since the death of her son, Andrew in 2017.
“The Aslan Foundation, formally founded in 2019, was created in response to our family’s experience with mental illness; a journey which began in 2014”.
“It was as a high school freshman, that Andrew, the youngest in our family, began to verbalize and display disconcerting signs of mental illness. Being long-time residents of San Mateo County, we turned to the only resources we knew – the health care providers in our community”.
An essay written for NAMI that gives a bit of a personal view into their story:
Projects they are working on:
Here are the projects we have either completed or will be working on this year:
- We were recently awarded the Andrew Q Peschard Memorial Scholarship for the 4th year.
- Our website will be expanding to include resources that offer adolescent mental health services throughout all the counties in the San Francisco Bay Area.
We hope to partner with other similar organizations across the country to create a network of support for individuals and families living with mental illness.
5. Suzanne Howes – Coaching After Loss. And World Suicide Prevention Day links
5.1 Suzanne Howes – Coaching After Loss
Finding Meaning and Purpose after Loss
I established Coaching After Loss after losing my 17-year-old son Samuel to suicide in 2020. Samuel suffered from mental health issues in his teenage years, which were exacerbated during the pandemic, and he lost hope in a future.
When the rug was literally pulled from under me it made me reconsider my whole life picture. All I valued was destabilised, I was overwhelmed with grief but I knew I needed to forge ahead with purpose. I sought counselling with good effect but I recognised that I wanted to make changes, take back control and shape a new life.
After over 30 years in the NHS, firstly as a nurse and then in development roles, I wanted to combine my passion for caring and my coaching experience to support others following loss.
Through my own experiences I understand what it is to undergo major losses and life events that rock you to the core. I have been divorced, raised four children, was made redundant in 2018 and suffered the loss of both my parents within two months in 2021.
I have sought out my own coach to help refocus my life and make practical future plans. I see the huge benefits of having an independent sounding board and safe space to navigate my new world. I have started the journey to transform my life and now I want to support others to join me on this path.
I bring warmth, calmness and a real appreciation for living life to the fullest, knowing it can change in the blink of an eye.
I have developed resources to assess someone’s readiness for coaching and a roadmap exercise to focus on moving forward, available on my website
I’m also working with the NHS and government bodies to bring about change in mental health services for under 18s – bringing the parental voice to this work is my mission.
Resources: https://www.coachingafterloss.com/resources
Website: https://www.coachingafterloss.com/
5.2 World Suicide Prevention Day Links
Suicide Awareness | Facebook This page was established to create a platform for people who need someone to talk too when in a dark place Mental health is a major problem in this world there needs to a lot more done We can only do so much Thank you everyone who supports our page
Suicide Helpline – SupportLine “Problems. Suicide. If you are feeling suicidal. If you are feeling suicidal now you may be feeling very alone, lost, frightened, confused”.
World Suicide Prevention Day | Campaigns | Samaritans “Every year, on 10 September, organisations around the world get together to raise awareness about suicide prevention”.
Suicide Prevention Awareness Month | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness “Show support with NAMI by participating in several annual mental health awareness events. Learn more about the events”.
Woman launches an online suicide prevention tool in memory of brother “A STUBBINGTON woman has created a browser extension to help prevent self-harm and suicide a year her brother died by suicide”.
The Passage of Grief isn’t Linear – Survivors of Suicide Loss “The Passage of Grief Isn’t Linear · The Stages of Grief · Denial: In the initial stage, bereaved people are in a state of shock because they cannot rationalize”…
Promote National Suicide Prevention Month: Lifeline “We can all help prevent suicide. Every year, the Lifeline and other mental health organizations and individuals across the U.S. and around the world raise”…
World Suicide Prevention Day – Rethink Mental Illness “National mental health charity: information, services & a strong voice for everyone affected by mental illness – challenging attitudes and changing lives”.
NATIONAL SUICIDE AWARENESS MONTH – September “Also known as Suicide Prevention Month, the month brings awareness to a topic not often talked about. Everyone is affected by suicide, not just the victim”.
Suicide Prevention Month (September 2021) | Days Of The Year “I think suicide is sort of like cancer was 50 years ago. People don’t want to talk about it, they don’t want to know about it. People are frightened of”.
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION MONTH—September 2021 “There are an average of 123 suicides each day in this country. It’s the tenth leading cause of death in America — second leading for ages 25-34”, …
Suicide Awarness Badges & Pins
6. Our Final Thoughts/Our YouTube Video
As well as sharing our grief experience, we also share experiences of others, and we try our best to spread awareness of matters around health, wellbeing and mental health. We do this because we feel these are important matters, and just like grief can sometimes be deemed as taboo, so can suicide, even with everything that is going on in the world today. This is why we feel Awareness Days are so important. (We also have topics on):
- Anxiety and Mental Wellness
- Mental Health Awareness Week 18th-24th May 2020 – Guest Feature: Chantelle Newell: Counsellor and Mediator
- Mental Health Awareness Week: 10th – 16th May 2021
In the words of Samantha Tunesi:
” In this, suicide prevention month, I urge anyone reading this to check up on anyone you feel may be struggling. We need to overcome the stigma of talking about mental health and sometimes if we start the conversation, it can be a whole lot easier for that person to open up”…..
Our YouTube Video:
Grief Probate Journey 
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