This topic has come about through assessing ourselves as people since our Dad was hospitalised in September 2016, sadly passing away in March 2017. My sister and I are aware this experience has forever changed us, it has: Knocked our confidence, We have become introverted and do not feel like part of society…..
- Introduction
- Indecision
- Indecision and Grief
- Profound Grief
- Anxiety and Grief
- Worry Management
- Our Final Thoughts
- Our YouTube Video
© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog *PLEASE NOTE THIS INFORMATION IS SOURCED FROM UK and AMERICAN WEBSITES* It is also based on our own experience. *We are not experts in this field, we are speaking purely on our own experience with information sought from the internet to give further examples. *
1. Introduction
This topic has come about through assessing ourselves as people since our Dad was hospitalised in September 2016, sadly passing away in March 2017.
My sister and I are aware this experience has forever changed us, it has:
- Knocked our confidence
- We have become introverted and do not feel like part of society
- Our anxiety levels are through the roof
- We doubt ourselves and our abilities
- We have a lack of Trust
- We feel unheard
- Vulnerable
- Paranoid
- We are not good at making decisions
All of the above stems from our entire journey since our Dad was hospitalised in 2016, up until this very day.
We are aware and have mentioned in previous topics that the experience of the professionals we had to deal with over the years impacted us so much that it spilt over into our lives outside of our situation. We no longer had the ability to have a separation and distinction between the two.
Since our Dad was hospitalised we have had to make some of the biggest decisions of our lives, quite a lot of the time we only had moments to think about it if that. It is an emotionally taxing experience. It drains a lot out of you.
And on top of all of that, we have the fear and worry that we made the right decisions. For a start one thing we’ll always have sadness and guilt about is the fact our Dad is no longer here with us. As his daughters, it is never the way we should be feeling. This was not our fault we are not medical professionals, yet it felt like we had that huge responsibility on our shoulders.
To say I wasn’t indecisive before all of this occurred would not be true. But it is not on the same level or scale. The importance and intensity of the decisions we’ve had to make, much less hoping it is the right one on numerous occasions over a period of months/years take its toll.
It is a daily struggle for us to pick ourselves up from our feelings continuing to do daily and weekly tasks as needs be.
The reason why we have included Profound Grief in this topic is that there are many factors that can cause indecision, and Profound Grief is one of them. (We have a topic on Profound Grief).
Anxiety is also a strong factor in decision-making. We thought we knew what anxiety was, but this whole experience showed us differently. In an instant of feeling anxious, the effects on our bodies would be present. It has had a lasting effect, and our anxiety is most definitely heightened, including our social anxiety. The recent pandemic hasn’t helped any of these matters. We have topics on:
As with many people worldwide, they are working through rebuilding life after such an immense life-changing experience.
I am a person that overthinks, and this can also lead to being indecisive. Throughout the years, my sister and I have had therapy to help us get through, Friends also tried to support me in getting books and suggesting things I could do to try and reduce my anxiety levels.
My sister and I have dealt with what we’ve needed to work through individually. In one of my counselling sessions, something I was working through is decisions, worry and how to get through it. I was given a very useful suggestion and tool to use when faced with such situations. Which was sorting my worries into Practical and Hypothetical Worries.
What is a practical worry?
“Practical worries are often about a current situation that you can do something about. For example. this can include things like; “I don’t have enough time to complete my work”, “I have a tooth ache” or. “I need to book leave for my holiday”. It is quite normal when we are feeling anxious or overwhelmed”.
What is hypothetical worry?
“Hypothetical worries are about problems that do not exist and have not actually happened, but might happen in the future. These are all those “What if…” questions and hypothetical worst-case scenarios that run through our minds when we feel stress about situations that we cannot control”.
We will provide links to this information on this topic.
With everything we are going through along this journey, we realise it is a process and things take time. We have good moments, and bad moments, but despite it all, we always try our very best to maintain and get through.
For all the reasons above is why we decided to do this as a topic.
Please see Indecision and Grief – Anxiety – profound Grief:
2. Indecision
2.1 What causes lack of decision making?
“The underlying cause of decision fatigue may have to do with a person’s stress levels and the number of decisions they have to make each day. The weight of these decisions also matters. Most people have to make a large number of decisions each day. From the moment they wake up, they start making them”. (6 Jul 2020).
2.2 What causes extreme indecisiveness?
“Difficulty in making decisions can be caused by several factors, such as a fear of failure and a lack of confidence or information. Indecisiveness can also be a symptom of mental health conditions, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)”.
2.3 What is at the root of indecisiveness?
“The most common reason of all for being indecisive – fear of failure. Making a decision means you might be wrong. And nobody likes to be wrong. Being decisive can be intimidating”. (10 Jan 2018).
2.4 Does depression make you indecisive?
“The simple answer: Yes. In fact, trouble making decisions is one of the most common psychological symptoms of depression. Other depression symptoms — such as difficulty concentrating and lack of motivation — can make decision making even harder”.
2.5 Does overthinking cause indecisiveness?
“In effect, overthinking and getting lost in endless options reduces their effectiveness and intelligence by producing inaction. Taking any action is likely to be better than inaction and indecision, but we can get so caught up in trying to find the perfect decision that we make no decision”.
2.6 Is indecisiveness a lack of confidence?
“Indecision usually signals a lack of self-confidence. It may seem that making up your mind feels fraught with failure or unforeseen consequences. You may worry that committing to one choice or another bears too much responsibility”. (18 Jun 2018).
2.7 How do I stop overthinking and being indecisive?
“Stop Being Indecisive”
“Pay Attention to Your Emotions”.
“Take Your Time”.
“Think Strategically”.
“Ask Who You’re Trying to Please”.
“Banish Your Perfection Mindset”.
“Let Go of Bad Decisions”.
“Visualize Possible Outcomes”. (11 Nov 2021)
3. Indecision and Grief
3.1 Why grief is the most powerful emotion?
“Grief is even more powerful, subtle, and complex. This is why it is so overwhelming. It is an amalgam of all our most powerful feelings in a distressing roiling cauldron of emotion. It is anger at the injustice, bitterness about the loss, fear for the future, regrets about the times you were less than perfect”. (16 Jan 2018).
3.2 Do you ever fully recover from grief?
“Some people will feel better in a matter of weeks, while others may not feel better for months or even years. The key is to be patient with yourself and allow the process to unfold in a natural way. That said, some people never get over their grief no matter how much time has past”.
3.3 How does grief shape a person?
“Personality changes like being more irritable, less patient, or no longer having the tolerance for other people’s “small” problems. Forgetfulness, trouble concentrating and focusing. Becoming more isolated, either by choice or circumstances. Feeling like an outcast”.
3.4 Can grief change your personality?
“Profound grief can change a person’s psychology and personality forever. The initial changes that occur immediately after suffering a significant loss may go unnoticed for several weeks or months after the death of a loved one or other traumatic experience”. (16 Sept 2022).
3.5 How does grief affect cognitive ability?
“Shulman says, “it’s reinforced and becomes a default setting.” Over the long term, grief can disrupt the diverse cognitive domains of memory, decision-making, visuospatial function, attention, word fluency, and the speed of information processing”. (29 Sept 2021).
4. Profound Grief
4.1 What does profound grief feel like?
“Experience depression, deep sadness, guilt or self-blame. Believe that you did something wrong or could have prevented the death. Feel life isn’t worth living without your loved one. Wish you had died along with your loved one”. (19 Jun 2021).
4.2 How do you deal with profound grief?
How to deal with the grieving process
5. Anxiety and Grief
5.1 Why are anxious people indecisive?
“Basically, anxiety slows down and disengages the specific part of your brain that you need to make good decisions. It’s no wonder you feel stuck in indecision! While anxiety can cause indecisiveness, it may, at times, also have the opposite effect”. (17 Sept 2021).
5.2 Inability to make decisions – what’s the link with anxiety?(17 Sept 2021) — “Anxiety can result in an inability to make decisions at all – and an inability to make good decisions. If you struggle with anxiety, you’ll” …
5.3 How does anxiety affect decision-making?
“Decision-making happens in the pre-frontal cortex – the front part of your brain. According to research published in The Journal of Neuroscience (2016), anxiety decreases activity in this area. Basically, anxiety slows down and disengages the specific part of your brain that you need to make good decisions”. (17 Sept 2021).
5.4 How do I stop feeling anxious about decisions?
How to Stop Letting Your Anxiety Make Decisions for You
6. Worry Management
“There are two main types of worries; practical worries and hypothetical worries. Practical worries are often about a current situation that you can do something”…
7. Our Final Thoughts
We hope this topic has been of use to those who might read it.
8. Our YouTube Video
Grief Probate Journey 