Five years of grief

This topic came about purely by chance. I was searching for something to post for the anniversary of our Dad’s burial. Like most topics like this that find us, we feel it happens for a reason, it is needed to be shared, and so this is what we have done…..

Please see Five years of grief which covers:

  1. Introduction
  2. Illustrative examples/Quotes: Five Years of Grief
  3. Five Years of Grief
  4. Our Final thoughts/YouTube Video

© Copyright 2019 Grief Probate Journey Blog *PLEASE NOTE THIS INFORMATION IS SOURCED FROM UK and AMERICAN WEBSITES* It is also based on our own experience. *We are not experts in this field, we are speaking purely on our own experience with information sought from the internet to give further examples. *

1. Introduction

This topic came about purely by chance. I was searching for something to post for the anniversary of our Dad’s burial to help us have an uplifting feeling. (13th April).

There we saw something referring to five years and grief. This got us intrigued and wanting to find out more.

It has been five years for us, but it doesn’t feel like that. We cannot believe it’s actually been this many years. It is still so surreal to us that our Dad is no longer here. We have been pressing on with daily life as best as possible never fully engaging with our feelings about our loss.

In random moments things will trigger us, or we will see a sign, or have a dream. These things bring us comfort. (We also have topics on:

Life has been one big blur for us, we say this very often, but it really is the best way to describe how to this very day we feel about our loss.

It has changed us beyond measure. What has changed us even further is the worldwide pandemic. As with many other people this brought about a new type of grief, a profound type of grief.

  • Loss of loved ones
  • Loss of life
  • Loss of the person we used to be
  • Loss of the life we once had
  • Loss of property
  • Breakdown of marriage.

It has taken a huge toll and has a lasting impact on my sister and I. in some ways it has put us further into the shell or bubble that we seem to always co-exist in (We also have a topic on: Grief Bubble – Time Warp: Guest Blogging for the Grave Woman) .

And then there is the major thing we have been pursuing for the past 4 years. The complaint against the hospital in which are Dad was an inpatient. In our mind we felt, no matter what we will get the Justice our Dad so rightly deserves. It now seems how we planned to do this is no longer possible.

There are absolutely no words to describe how this makes us feel. We haven’t really processed this information to take on what it actually means.

We are at loss for the situation we are in now. We are not sure how we will move forward with this.

This is what we created for the Anniversary of our Dad’s send-off:

This is what we created for the Anniversary of our Dad’s passing away:

Like most topics like this that find us, we feel it happens for a reason, it is needed to be shared, and so this is what we have done.

Please see Five years of grief:

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2. Illustrative examples/Quotes: Five Years of Grief

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3. Five Years of Grief

3.1 Should I still be grieving after 5 years?

“It is completely normal to feel profoundly sad for more than a year, and sometimes many years, after a person you love has died. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel better or move on because other people think you should”.

3.2 Does the pain of grief every go away?

“You’ll never “get over” the loss of your loved one, but the painful feelings you’re experiencing will lessen as you come to terms with the loss. While your painful feelings will take precedence, there is much to learn from the loss of a loved one—such as just how beautiful life and love are”. (29 Dec 2021).

3.3 Do you ever stop grieving?

“Instead of “getting over” or “moving on” from grief, you should take the necessary time and care to process the loss that you have experienced. While grief does lessen in intensity with time, it never truly goes away… as you’ll never forget that person you lost and the impact they had on your life”. (4 Sept 2018).

3.5 Is it normal to grieve for years?

When a loved one dies, you might be faced with grief over your loss again and againsometimes even years later. Feelings of grief might return on the anniversary of your loved one’s death or other special days throughout the year..

3.6 How do you deal with Reawakened Grief

How to Deal with Reawakened Grief

  1. “Get prepared. Anniversary reactions are totally normal, but it’s helpful to anticipate that anniversary and use that opportunity for healing”.
  2. “Plan distractions”. …
  3. “Reminisce”. …
  4. “Begin a new tradition”. …
  5. “Connect with others”. …
  6. “Allow yourself to feel emotions”.

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4. Our Final thoughts/YouTube Video

When preparing to do the video for this, we notice a blue butterfly that kept flying away and back to us, my sister remarked it could be a sign of encouragement from our Dad. We took comfort in that, especially considering what this topic is about.

Life is so unpredictable, the past three years have proved that in abundance. Nothing is guaranteed or promised. As we continue moving through trying times in life, taking moments to take a step back, reflect and re-energise is very important for our mental health and wellbeing.

We hope this topic might be of use to those who read it

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